May 16th, 2012
For breakfast this morning, I ate toast. It wasn’t particularly exciting.
Perhaps this is because my toaster is a fairly basic stainless steel model, without much personality.
If you ever wished that your toast could be more exciting, here are a few wacky toasters to try:
Remember the movie? Or the graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons? Well, now you can add a bit of deconstruction of the superhero genre to your breakfast with this Watchmen-themed toaster, coming soon.
Maybe you want to have Rorschach’s iconic mask logo burned onto your bread? Well, you can’t. You’re too late.
I ate your toast. Thirty-five minutes ago.
Hello Kitty toaster
One of my former housemates owned this toaster. While undeniably cute, it wasn’t quite… manly enough for someone as totally tough and rugged as me. Plus, the Hello Kitty design on the toast left a soft and un-toasted section on the bread, leading to a very odd consistency.
When the toaster owner moved out, she took the toaster with her, and I thought that we’d be able to finally get a proper toaster. Little did I know that my partner had been keeping a second example of the same toaster in storage for just such an occasion…
Sports logo toasters
Love your team? Do you think about them, every minute of every day? Wish there was some way you could even support them at breakfast? Now you can!
Pangea Brands has a whole ProToast range available to burn your favourite team’s logo onto your toast. Currently the only logos available are those of different American sporting leagues, but the technology exists; all we have to do is show demand. So, where’s my St George Dragons toaster?
In a busy household, everyone has a different schedule. Some people are up and about early, some later in the morning, and others such as shift workers may operate on a completely diferent timetable. So if you need to leave a message for someone in your household, how can you guarantee that they’ll see it?
By leaving it on their breakfast, of course!
It brings new meaning to the phrase “eat your words” too…
We all have a morning routine. In between rolling out of bed, dressing and eating breakfast, many of us go online to check the local news and weather, Facebook or other updates. If only there was some way to roll these together to save time…
Enter the Scan Toaster, designed for the Electrolux Design Lab competition. The idea of this toaster is to connect to your computer via USB, and automatically print the (previously selected) content of your choice onto your toast, so you can catch up with the world while you eat.
While the design is undeniably awesome, we haven’t yet been able to find any examples on sale. Man can dream…
When I was a kid, my family used to visit the same motel each time we went on holidays. The place had a toaster with some seriously powerful springs, shooting toast about a metre into the air each use. Us kids loved it, though I’m sure the adults thought it was a bit dangerous.
Someone else must have thought this kind of toaster was fun too, as the Ivo Vos Trebuchet Toaster is specifically designed to launch toast in the air, and angled so as to rain down upon your enemies across the breakfast table. With settings to control angle and force of the launched toast, you can turn your breakfast table into an artillery range.
Tea and toast
Some matches are made in heaven. Tea and toast just go together like wop bop a loo bop ba dop bam boom, so why shouldn’t their appliances?
There’s always a bit of guesswork involved in toasting. You can set your toaster to the power level you want, but won’t know for sure how crispy or chewy the bread will end up until it pops back up from the murky, crumb-filled depths.
Enter the transparent toaster. Not only does this allow you to know for sure exactly how toasty your bread is getting, it can provide plenty of breakfast time entertainment for those that love to watch the combustion process in action.
The design shown is just a prototype concept, but apparently a similar model has been sold in the UK…
As we’ve learned previously, many of our enterprising readers have attempted to toast bread and sandwiches on the road with the help of a motel’s iron, much to the despair of the motel owners that have to deal with ensuing smoke alarms.
“His carbs are flatlining. CLEAR!”
*sound of burning bread*
“It’s no good, Jim. He’s toast.”
What kind of strange toasters would you like to see? Please let us know!